There is no rulebook as to how you should maintain the perfect relationship, as no relationship is perfect. However, there are smart and not-so-smart ways to work through problems as a couple. If you feel as if you and your partner have been opting for the latter whenever you come across an obstacle then here are some ideas which might help you to resolve your problems.
Try to work through the arguments.
Arguments shouldn’t be a competition. You shouldn’t keep them going for the sake of “winning”. All couples argue, but the couples who work through maturely and without hurting one another are the ones who approach an argument with a level head. You need to work towards fixing the situation rather than simply being the person who’s right. Listen to and respect your partner’s opinion so that they respect yours; it’ll be easier to find a compromise which makes you both happy that way. Most importantly, remember that there’s a time and a place for heated discussions; try not to fight in front of your child if you have one, as that can be damaging to them too.
If it doesn’t work then deal with it like adults.
Perhaps your problems are beyond fixing either because you’re no longer happy with one another or you find yourself in a repeating cycle which can’t be broken. It’s important to deal with the end of the relationship like an adult, regardless of the circumstances. You may not have to put any work into the relationship anymore, but that doesn’t mean you should give up on being respectful altogether.
Life can be challenging, but you need to develop a thick skin for those challenges. Things become complicated when children are involved or you and your partner are married. That’s what it’s even more important to deal with a fizzled-out relationship sensibly in such situations. You might want to look into divorce mediation because it’s important to find a calm and relaxed atmosphere to sort out a legal and financial resolution that makes both you and your spouse happy. The best tonic for a toxic relationship, even if things don’t work out, is a level-headed and responsible attitude towards the situation.
Trust your gut.
At the end of the day, the only people who truly understand your relationship and you and your partner. You have to trust your instincts and make a decision based on what you feel is right. You need to both communicate openly and honestly with one another. You might find that you can both work through your problems far more easily when you actually own up to the things you did wrong; that might be the only thing that your partner wanted, and it’s probably the only thing you want from your partner. Or it’s a step in the right direction, at least.
Brainstorm solutions if you both want to give it a go. If your guts are telling you that you love each other but you can’t go on as you then think about ways in which you could possibly approach the relationship in a different way. If you feel like you want to try again then make that known. Let your partner know that you’ve not given up, but you just need things to change. Alternatively, if your heart is telling you that you’re just not up for this anymore then let that be known too.