Sunday, May 9, 2021

Being the mom God created me to be


“How do you do it?
"How do you get it all figured out?"

Being a working mom to 3 kids, and no helper, I get these kinds of questions and comments a lot. And honestly, I don't know how to answer them.

Finding out I was pregnant for the first time, 11 years ago, I had mixed emotions. I don't know if I should be happy being pregnant at a young age. I am worried and anxious, will I be a good mom? Three years later, I became pregnant with baby number two. Again, mixed emotions. Happy but worried if I can take care of 2 kids. Then, less than a year later, we found out that I will be having baby number three. My stress level and anxiety grew up to a new level. Another baby? Athena was barely a year old! How can I take care of two toddlers and a baby without a helper? All my pregnancies were unplanned so, imagine the adjustments we have to make each time.

Tristan was 4 and Athena was 1 year old when Brianna was born. Since I failed at breastfeeding both, I promised to breastfeed Brianna as long as we could. It wasn't easy at all it made doing the chores even self-care a challenge. We don't have a helper and Jaear was working. Imagine the chaos! Breastfeed babies are clingy and would latch as long as they want. I remember Brianna breastfeeding for a long time then Tristan and Brianna were already crying because they were already hungry and I have not cooked anything yet. I felt helpless. But, our breastfeeding journey was a success. It was the longest 2 years and 2 weeks. Again, I don't know how we did it, but I'm glad that I did not give up. 

Fast forward to today, from being a full-time stay-at-home mom to a working mom and now, a work-from-home mom. I still question myself if I am being a good mom. I work graveyard shifts with 3-4 hours of sleep. Trying to balance everything.

Then last Wednesday, 4 days before Mother's Day, the kids surprised me with some Toblerone Chocolates with sleeves where they wrote their Mother' Day message for me! Aww, they know I love chocolates and DIY personalized cards. So this Toblerone with the limited edition Mother's Day sleeves is just perfect! Plus I got lots of hugs and kisses. 

What a sweet way of assuring me that I may not be a perfect mom but I am enough.

Now I think I can answer the questions above.

No, I don't have it all figured out. Behind these seemingly picture-perfect images I post online are, struggles, sleepless nights, physical, mental, and emotional workload. I don't have a strategy or whatever, I just gotta wing it. And I do it because of the love I have for my family and with God’s guidance. These three kids may drive me crazy sometimes, but they are also the reason why I stay sane and where I draw my strength from.

I know every mom could relate. Motherhood is hard, but I wouldn't have it any other way. So this Mother's Day, don't forget to make all the Supermoms in your life feel extra special and loved. 

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